Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bring On The Crazy...

I have lived here in NYC for 10(!!) years. It was bound to happen...

I talk to myself while walking down the street. Well, it probably sounds like mumbling to passersby, but I am having chats with myself out loud.

When I first moved here I noticed the people talking to themselves. I tried to ignore them. "That's crazy" I used to say to myself. Quietly. Inside my head. But after all this time, the words are now out loud. There is actual volume.

It started innocently enough a few years ago, when I was walking to the train from work one night. I worked the 3pm-11pm shift. It was raining. I was pissed about something work related, I'm sure, and I caught myself talking out loud under the protection of the night and my umbrella (see: I Miss You, Totes Umbrella.. from June). Once I realized what I was doing I quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard me, and I sheepishly moved along.

As the years have passed, I've caught myself doing it more and more. At first it would be when I was walking after dark, when I thought no one was around. But this being New York, there is always someone around. I'd catch sight of someone sitting on their stoop, or sitting in their car, windows open. Every time I caught someones eye, I would blush, and kinda shrug it off. The more it happened though, the easier it got to ignore the fact that someone might be hearing me. Today, I was doing it while walking down 5th Avenue, during the morning rush to work... and I could have cared less. There I was, one of the mumbling people.

It's not like I have arguments with myself. I'm usually rehashing a conversation I had, or making up what I would have said, what I'd like to say, in a certain situation. Some things need a sounding board, and I like to get things straight in my head. Seems I like to hear them as well.

Now, to be fair to myself, back in the day, when I lived where driving is the only way to get anywhere, I used to talk up a storm by myself in the quiet inner sanctum of my car. If someone saw me, I could just chalk it up to singing with the radio. So apparently, I've always been a self-talker. But now I have joined the ranks of the street mumblers.

Does this make me a real deal, bona-fide New Yorker? Well, just to make myself feel better, I vote YES!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

omg. that is hilarious. I myself, when caught talking to myself, will start singing, so people think I wasn't talking to myself, but merely enjoying a tune. Awesome post kricka.